Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Apne thoughts on Apne, the movie.

Recently, I had the opportunity to catch a movie on TV, whilst lazing around on a sunday afternoon. And guess what, it was Apne. First thought: A copy of Rocky most likely. Ho..hmmm.. Anyways I got down to watching the movie, having nothing better to do.

Enter Dharamendra..no no..not with his raised index finger (yeah..have to specify which finger for you dirty minds!!) and with his kutte kameene dialog. With a voice sounding more like he had sand and pebbles for dinner, he talks with his wife Kirron Kher, like a cry baby. Yes, I am sane, its cry baby. Apparently, he was a boxer wrongly convicted of doping in Amreeeka (thank god its not atleast "hamara padosi mulk" thing) and he wants to wipe out the blot on his career.
Cut to Sunny Deol's entry. Sunny is a well established businessman but has a strained relation with his "paapaaaa" because boxer daddy wanted Sunny to avenge his "doping ki gaali". But he only went as far as becoming a national champion.
Last but not the least,enters Bobby Deol. With one hand in his pocket because he had a "bachpan ka haadsa", eerily resembling Rajesh Khanna's act from the movie Avtaar. Thats the only similarity. He is a rock star who croons day and night and he has Katrina for company. Ok, enough of the entry stuff.
Dharam starts training a dude (Aryan Vaid, walking wax figurine) for boxing on the insistence of his wife and his friend Victor Banerjee. Somewhere in between, he goes to Mumbai and decides to get himself trained by an Australian coach. Dharam is very upset and pleads with him in his sand-and-pebbles voice "Why are you doing this to me? Kya kamee hai mujhme?" (I let out a huge laugh on the kamee dialog..you know why). After he leaves, Dharam goes about banging his hand on the photographs. In the midst of all this, Bobby enters and guess what? Actually its pretty obvious. There is a struggle and Bobbys hand starts moving. By now, I am rolling in laughter and falling off the couch. Whay a typical hindi "phillum" scene. Now Bobby starts training for a big event and boxer daddy is very happy. The event starts and as usual he reaches the final, where he has to fight a certain Luka Garcia (called Lukkka Grasia by boxer dad...).
Another scene between Sunny and Dharam. Sunny comes to boxer dad and says that his pics are all over the place. He then sarcastically remarks to Sunny that is boxing still a waste etcetra etcetra.Sunny tries his best to justify his stand. Then comes a gem of a dialog. Dharmendra in english. Hold your breath. "You are a simply worthless son to me!!!" My tummy is aching from laughing so much. I go berserk on hearing this one.
Cut to Amreeka, for the big final. People are rallying behind their hero. Luka Garcia comes to meet Boxer dad and tells him to go back. All of a sudden, out of the blue comes another precious gem. "They call my son, the miracle boeeey". My ears cannot believe it.
In the ensuing fight, Bobby is knocked out with a damaged liver by Lukkkaa Grasia and Boxer Dad holds a press meet that Lukka put something into the Miracle Boy's eyes. Lukka proceeds to punch Boxer dad and enter Sunny "Oye tunne mere papa ko maraa". And tries to beat the pulp outta Lukka. Luka challenges him to a fight.
Now starts the fun. Sunny starts training for boxing, and this is probably the only slight resemblance to Rocky wherein he is doing his jog.
Then comes the big day. Bobby is in the hospital watching the fight. Punches and hooks fly. Expectdly, Sunny wins the fight and proceeds to kill Luka, when Luka's wife pleads with him not to. How melodramatic.
In the hospital, Bobby collapses from a liver infection and has to get a new liver. Too bad, no one from the family can donate "apne liver ka ek hissa", except Boxer. But since Boxer dad is too old, he cannot either.
Dharam decides to commit suicide so that his liver can be used. But just in the nick of time someone donates his liver and Bobby gets a new lease of life.
Sadly the fun ends here. Everybody lives happily ever after. Boy I can't wait for the sequel for Apne.!!

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